Blogger to blogger etiquette

When I first started reading craft blogs I found it so interesting, educative, and inspiring. I realized that I’m living in a totally different era of communications compared to what I had as a child. Due to the reality of my life at the moment, I became sort of an “artist on stand-by” and so this so called “craft blog community” appealed to me as a way to let my inner self be, and a way to share in my creative skills. One of the first questions that came to me was if there was a blogger to blogger protocol. While I just navigated the web (before I had my own blog,) enjoying other craft bloggers’ creations, I felt that I shouldn’t leave comments mostly because I on the other side couldn’t exchange pictures or stories. But when I became “Three Kitchen Fairies” my first question to a local blogger was if there was a protocol to follow: a way to behave, or to proceed, because it felt weird to go into somebody’s life and leave without a comments, or at list a hello. She told me that there wasn’t any…

Nine months have gone by, many beautiful comments were made, cyber friends are now in the making, a fairy blog mother, swaps, giveaways, fun with flickr, but also while reading here and there I found that there are sad people that get offended by having their pictures marked as “fave” with no comments left behind (when I thought that “fave” was a compliment!) I read of nasty comments left to a tired mom who’s post was about wanting a break. I’m also puzzled by my own stats going up high, high, while only one or two comments are left. Could it be that cultural differences (therefore differences in expectations) are at play here?

I clarify: I’m not complaining about comments I love each one of them, and I love that you came to my world and paid me a visit. And it’s likely that I will write back and thank you for your visit, and comment some more on the subject.

…So, here’s my question: is there a protocol, a crafter to crafter etiquette, flickr rules that apply to Europeans and well as to Aussies, Americans, and Brazilians, and Latin Americans, etc., as well? I’m a very conscious about our cultural differences, and also aware that we all don’t speak the same language. But here in blogland we come together as creative minds, trying to share and shaping a new culture, don’t we?

Please, let me know what are your thoughts on this subject, what do you like or dislike about all these, maybe an experience to share. I invite you to read the comments (if any, LOL) and to learn from other people’s experiences.

I thank you in advance for stopping by and for joining in.

P.

Comments

[Alison]

First of all - Happy Birthday to your daughter :) 4 is a wonderful age, and [5 is even better].

I think with blogging you have to feel your way around so much - test the waters with different people and how they will react to comments and faves, and try and get to know people. So much is read in bloglines, and often people don't comment because they've moved onto the next entyr in bloglines and not clicked through to your post. Time is precious, for many of us, and I know I am always intensely grateful and exhilirated of any comment, because I know it sometimes take a lot to get people out to comment. I try hard to focus on the reader numbers....

But it is hard when you've poured your heart and soul into a post, written about something which means something wonderful to you, and you want to share that with other people, and have them step into your world and be part of that joy/sorrow/humour/discussion.

You take a risk with each comment you leave - that it will cause unintended offense, that it will be taken out of contet, etc etc. But for the most part it is worthwhile, and beautiful friendships can evolve through that. As for flickr...well. There's a lot of wariness in people about comments and faves - there seems to be a lot more at stake on flickr - it's purely an image with few words, meaning can be misinterpreted readily, and it's open far more to eyes which wouldn't necessarily have come to you through a blog. I think it's just people being wary, and I know I get a little wary when someone faves a lot of things all at once or appears to be using my account in a way which makes me uncomfortable. But unless I had grounds to believe something was seriously wrong [ie people who have baby feet only in their faves and that's just not right in my mind] I let it go. I can't MAKE people do specific things on flickr, and if you want that much control flickr is the wrong vehicle for showcasing your work.

Sorry this is long, I got on a rant path!!

[Lucinda J]

I'm a baby blogger myself and also tiptoeing in this new world and hoping to do the right things. I actually find it surprising to see people stopping by my blog at all. And when they stop to comment! What a prize! :0)
I have connected to so many wonderful nice people from all over the world through flickr and my blog - people that I would otherwise never have gotten to know. How amazing is that?! Having said that, I recognise the delicate balance I'm walking while viewing, reading, faving and commenting. You never know when you'll stumble into someone's bad day! So, I'll continue to be cheerful, positive, and encouraging to those I visit and to those who visit me. Life is too short to be negative!
Adding in all the different cultures and expectations is kind of like blindfolding me and sending me through a maze... I can only be who I am.
Interesting post ~ thanks for encouraging people to think about this :0)

[Ayama]

Hi P,

Sorry I haven't been commenting, had a bad pre-once-a-month-inconvience-week.

One can't remember if I gave your little fairy who turned 4 a big birthday cheer or not. So Happy Birthday Miss Fairy #2 on your fourth birthday. In Australia she would be pre-primary (fancy name for preschool) next birthday. :D

I am also guilty of reading all of my favourite blogs in a reader (love how it tells me there is a new post). Seeing that this computer is on it's last legs, sometimes when I go to comment on blogs, it has a heart attack and I have to restart the computer... So I am guilty of not commenting on blogs I love left right and centre at the moment.

I know what you mean about the whole stats versus comments. Happy to get one or two. After teaching for many years, I got really philosophical about people copy my teaching resources (and claiming ownership) or adopting a similar style, they obviously worked. It always amazes me how people can also have similar ideas and not copy as well. It really doesn't worry me if people favourite my photos without a comment because, as much as I try, my photography skills still leave a lot to be desired (but then again I only really started to take photos late April 2007). I still muddling my way through blogging ettiquette. But it is always lovely to 'meet' lovely people such as you. :D

[Miss Behave]

Thanks for posting this Paloma! I always wondered myself about the blogging etiquette since I'm pretty new to blogging and flickr. Flickr confuses me more than blogging, tho. I understand if people add pictures as favorites and don't leave a comment, I do this myself sometimes, but the thing I don't get is why people add me as there contact, without leaving a comment on my pics or if they themselves haven't any pics in their account.

I'm sure there is a cultural difference, and this is especially hard for me sometimes because 99,9% of the people who read me blog aren't from Germany, and since English isn't my first language I'm sure I can't express myself like I would like to and maybe people get offended.

As for leaving comments, I try to leave comments on most of the blogs I read, but it's just impossible. I use bloglines, and sometimes there are just too many new post, so I concentrate on the post I really have to say something or my "bloggy friends". But I always leave a comment if someone commented on a post I wrote and check out there blog.

As much as I love reading comments and getting to know "my readers" I understand if someone doesn't choose to comment. It's just really time consuming, because if you comment you may get to know new people and you may feel obligated to get more involved in discussions, and the blog universe itself. And some people just don't want that, they want to read about sewing and get inspiration and that's it.

I think the general rule for blogging and flickr should be the one that applies to the real world to: what goes around comes around, so be nice. But then again, I'm nicer on the internet than in the real world :)

[Andrea]

I'm not sure about etiquette, but if I visit a blog more than once, then I make sure that I leave a comment. I know that's what I'd like in my own blogger.

I also feel "shy" about commenting on other people's blogs, thinking that maybe they think I'm spying or stalking them, yk? I love reading blogs and get inspired by the creativity.

I think that if it's just a driveby, then no comment needed, but if you've visited more than once, it's time to say hello!

And this is my first visit to you...but I absolutely love your question!

Take care,
-a

[Staci]

I am in love with that pincushion. The colors on the fabric are beautiful.
Anyway... for me I have about 300 blogs in my Bloglines and I simply don't have time to comment on every single one. I wish I could because I have met so many people through blogland and became friends with them, but for right now I can only comment once in awhile. I feel guilty sometimes though.... especially if over a week goes by and I haven't been online.

Oh and about the Flickr faves. I consider faves a compliment too. In fact sometimes I think it's even more special because a person that faves your photo wants to keep it bookmarked so they can look at it again in the future. It's not just a "cute bag" comment then they go off and forget about it.

Fun topic! :)

[Selina]

As a very new blogger I have found I used to make more comments before I actually started blogging! I think i'm worried that people might think i'm leaving a comment just so that other people will check out my blog, if you know what I mean! ( I hope that makes sense!) I don't know if anyone else feels like that, or maybe i'm just weird. It's certainly a very interesting topic.
Selina.

[domoshar]

Very interesting topic!
I started blogging almost a year ago after reading blogs for some time, so I am interested in this.
Re Flicker - a fave means more than a comment ;) It is bookmarking for something you want to save and enjoy later. It might be a wonderful photo or something you would like to try out. No matter what you intend to do, you definitely want to keep it. Same goes with contacts - a adding a contact is bookmarking a photostream :) I do it often with no comment /I comment later :)/ if I am in a hurry.

Re blogs... It is a different story as comments depend on the content and visibility. People do not feel comfortable to enter someone else's virtual world so easy and commenting for the first time on a blog is the hardest thing I think. I sometimes do not comment on popular blogs as I would not write something new and they have so many comments to read already :) But I visit them often, improve the statics and appreciate the blog and if it is a photo I really love in the blog, I make it a Flickr favorite ;). However if they ask for advice or help and I can give it, I do comment. I Think I will make a post about this topic soon too - it is so wide :)

[Diana]

Hi.

Just stumbled over.. To me, 1 rule counts.. "Be Nice"... Thats how I behave and how I hope others behave... Even when negative comments are being given, I do hope they give it nicely.. Hhaha.. Its just me and I try to make everything as simple as possible.. Life is complicated enough..

Tata!!

Happy Crafting!!

Regards
Diana
http://djstoreroom.blogspot.com

[joanie]

I just found you as a fellow participant in Katy's International Stash Giveaway. Lovely blog, you make such pretty things!

I agree with all of the above, many people are shy, even though they're on the end of a computer. I get few comments (mainly the same bloggy friends each time) although I get so many visitors that I'm hassled by agencies wanting to pay for advertising on my blog (I don't do adverts.) The number of comments I get doesn't matter, my blog is for me to record my art/craft and tidbits of family life. If people care about what I'm up to and comment it's lovely of them to take the time to do so, if not I'm still pleased they dropped by. I agree with Diana, I think the only etiquette that matters in Blogland is being nice and luckily most people are!

[Lisa]

My keypad has deleted my message to you 3 times now, so I will be quick. Just wanted to say I wish I knew the rules of behaviour on here. I get comments, but then do I answer all of them individually or send to their blog. If I do this then how much time will it all take. So I just hope that people know I really appreciate their comments and that's why I keep posting. Glad I stumbled on to your blog by the way. Looks good.

[Sonya]

Hmm... Comment, don't comment, visit, don't visit, faves, no faves, followers, no followers.. I try to take every contribution in as possible a light as I can, and the lack of contribution as a shyness, a busy-ness, a humility or a diplomacy. That way, I can stay focused on the giving of my thoughts and expresions of my life without feeling like I am trying to accommodate or please anyone.
I also give comments to others (or not) with the same intent.
I think your blog is lovely, but you don't really need me to say that - if it is working for you, then that is enough.
Toodles, and keep blogging :o)
~Sonya
PS - I am in the stash giveaway, but it seems I may be too early for yours. Do come to mine and enter, if you like.

[nathalie]

when i started blogging i had no expectations at all. really, i started just as a way of letting my friends and family see what things interested me. i have evolved through this time and now i actually have people outside my circle who read and comment on my posts. i look at my stats every now and then, but i don't pay much attention to it. i visit a couple of blogs a day and i leave a comment if i have time. there is a slew of implications about blogging. and i try very hard not to let too much personal information out. i have many friends that i can call if i feel sad or whatever, so there is no need to write about it for the world to see. plus i don't want the world to know everything about me. if you know what i mean. so i leave it to my crafts, photos, a little about me and family life. but anything else is private. people read between the lines in all languages, that is why it is best to keep certain things out of the written world. even in a face-to-face conversation people can understand the same statement 100 different ways. let alone something written. so, in saying all of this, i have one rule, be kind and enjoy your life. the less i worry about things the more i enjoy them. btw, you are doing a fantastic job with your little space here!!!! congrats!

[Ros]

Here's the thing: the internet is possibly the most public way of communicating anything. Although you may fondly imagine that no one is reading your blog except a few friends, the truth is that it's on the web and anyone can read it, and people will always find it. Once something is posted on a blog, then it tacitly invites comment from whoever wants.

So what does that mean for blogging etiquette?

It means that there will always be a large proportion of drive by visitors - people who come to your blog in unexpected ways, find that it's not for them, and pass on without leaving a comment.

It means that there will be a fairly large number of lurkers - people who like to read and look but don't want to be involved in discourse.

It means that it is ALWAYS okay to leave a comment on a public post, whether you've had any introduction to the blogger before or not. It's never NECESSARY, but it's a good thing to do if you want to become part of an online community.

It means that online communities are always loose, flexible and transient. People drift in and drift out. It should never be taken personally - you have no idea what else is going on in that person's life. Just smile and wish them well.

It means that sometimes people will say things that you find hurtful or behave in ways you don't appreciate. There is nothing you can do about this. Just shrug, write it off, and move on. Making a song and dance about it online is never a good thing.

It means that you can't ever talk behind someone's back online. However careful you are to hide identities (yours or someone else's) they will always eventually come out. Don't say anything on your blog that you wouldn't be happy to publish in a newspaper.

[Casey]

This is an interesting topic, I've enjoyed reading all the responses. I don't think I really have anything to add. I love getting comments on my site but I don't worry if I don't get them, I know people are busy out there. I try to leave comments on every post I read, it's hard sometimes though because I just don't always know what to say.

[deirdre]

Here's my etiquette: be nice and ignore mean.

I guess that's my etiquette rule in life as well.

Also, regardig comments, my blog is little and I get only a handful of comments a week, and I never check my visitor stats. I know if I start some sort of numbers analysis, I'll go crazy with envy and worry.

Your blog is nice -- I LOVE your pincushions.

[Kathy]

I've really enjoyed these comments too. Helpful to me as another baby blogger like Lucinda above.

[Lisa]

I found your blog through the giveaways and I really enjoyed reading this post and the answers. I don't have a high traffic blog, but I do have a fair amount of new "friends" who usually leave comments and I enjoy interacting with them. I don't really care one way or the other if I get a lot of drive-bys, as the ones who comment are the ones I end up writing back to and interacting with. I have not had any negative experiences (yet, anyway) with someone being mean or scary. I sort of want/expect to "stay small" but pps are right when they say you have to remember anyone in the world can look. (Like, say, ex-boyfriends.. or their wives?... weird... maybe I don't want to do this anymore! JK!)

[Sue]

I found the link to your blog on Ginger Monkey. When I started blogging I couldn't imagine anyone actually reading what I had to say, but I have some followers and I love getting comments. I've made some dear friends thru my blog. I try to leave comments for others when I read their blogs.

[Liza B. Gonzalez]

while there is no blogger to blogger protocol, i like to be a good guest and leave at least, "a hello" on their comments. i love comments, personally, and don't mind thanking those who have taken the time to visit or pay me a compliment. however, i believe that some people don't leave their mark because either they are shy or not looking for "cyber" friendships. completely, understandable.

i stumbled upon your blog through kennedy and friends. love your creations and thank you for this post = )

[unwesen]

I came here via Miss Behave's blog (who incidentally is as nice in real life as on the intarwebs).

I don't think there's a blogger etiquette as such. I tend to think that attribution (link back to where you found interesting stuff) is the sincerest form of flattery here.

Though as a blogger, comments left on your blog feel nicer - more personal, more like you're the hub of a community (larger or small)... I guess I should comment more is what I'm saying :D

[Sparrow]

I, too skipped over here by way of Miss Behave's blog. I'm stealing a minute from my busy work day (but it's a saturday and it's valentine's day so i thought i'd give myself a little liberty to escape & do what I love) to look around for a glimpse at other people's inspiration and craftiness and productivity and happiness. That being said my glimpses are nearly always fleeting and while I do try to comment on what i see (especially with bloggy friends like silvana) i do admit that i occassionally glimpse and run. I'm glad you raised this point though because I've wondered the same before too (it being one of the reasons I stopped using my stat counter, i was making myself a bit silly wondering who all those mysterious people out there were :) In any case, i should get back to work now and later on I'll dream about crafting & blogging & lingering long enough to talk more.

[sonia]

I personally, try to leave a comment on every blog I visit. I just consider it common courtesy. I'm a southerner...maybe that's it :)

BTW...i found you thru your photos on flickr....

[Vicki]

I think a lot of people are shy about commenting on blogs. Even though we'd all love to hear from them. I know I don't comment often because I catch up on a blog all at once, so something may strike me to comment on, but it was posted a week or more ago so I don't feel it's timely to comment.
When I do comment, I always make it a favorable one. I feel there's enough negativity in the world and I don't want to propagate it. Besides, who am I to judge another's thoughts, feelings or creative output.
As for Flickr, I'm honored when someone marks my photos as a favorite. I don't mind that they don't leave a comment. It's nice if they do, but I'm not offended if they don't.

[Alia Ghulam]

Hi. I just found your site and read through a few of your comments. I just started my own blog and only have a list of about 15 so far. I have a Flickr account but am so new that I don't know what fave means!!?? I'll figure it out. I'm blogging because I have so much to share of just what I am doing and as an American living in the Middle East, I wanted to share my life with my family and friends back home in the States. I am actually Colombian, so my family in Colombia is also a consideration for me. I have left messages on blogs and it is so nice to receive a comment back from the person. I do feel bummed that not more people visit my blog and wonder how they found me in the first place. I don't advertise but like and would like comments but I think the bottom line at this point in my blogging life is to BE NICE!! I live in a seriously multi-cultural environment and have learned to consider the different cultures and how they think and do things. Fascinating. Are you Latina?? Thanks!! Alia